Toddlers are my favorite people.
I have said it so many times. They get a bad reputation when we refer to the “terrible two’s.” I am not diminishing the challenges of temper tantrums, potty training, and sleep issues. Trust me.
Those things put aside, they are delightful little people who love deeply and unconditionally. They will make you laugh till your sides hurt. One becomes as a child when playing with them.
And they bring lessons one will never forget.
Eliza, our 3YO granddaughter, has learned the power of saying “Excuse me …” Those words are supposed to get others to stop talking, letting one get their words or questions heard.
At times when not heard, she repeats the magic words. The reality is, she simply wants to be heard and seen.
We are becoming a people who truly do not listen. Technology is robbing us of our ability to listen and converse deeply with one another.
We hear, we nod, and are polite. But are we truly listening to what is being said?
In John 4, we find Jesus in a conversation with the Samaritan woman at the well. He engaged her in conversation with His simple request for a drink.
She responds with asking Him questions. Several actually. He addresses her past without condemnation. He speaks the truth to her with compassion. He continues talking with her, listening to her questions, recognizing her wounds and brokenness.
It was because of this simple dialogue, she acknowledges that Jesus is the Christ.
We are wise listeners when we let others speak freely, giving them ample time to express themselves. They need to know their words matter, we are compassionate towards them, and they are valued. They need to know their words will be remembered and considered. They need to know they have been seen and heard.
Scripture brings us these insights:
“The hearing ear and the seeing eye, The Lord has made both of them.”
(Proverbs 20:12, NASB)
We need to hear and see those with whom we are in conversation.
“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” (James 1:19, NASB)
We are to be quick in hearing, and slow to speak, and even slower to get angry. Being slow to speak will give others a chance to process and get their own thoughts verbalized.
“A good conversation is so much more than words: a conversation is eyes, smiles, the silences between words.” (Annika Thor)
“Every good conversation starts with good listening.” (Unknown)
Let’s practice good listening,
valuing the people with whom we are in conversation.
Lynn Simpson defines “take-a-breath away moments as when you come upon an unexpected view that fires all your senses.” In this post, An Intentional Breath, both her words and photos will do just that as they bring beauty and encouragement.
Come, sit a spell. Bring your coffee, your posts, and your thoughts. If you link up, kindly visit those who have drawn up a seat around you.
Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash
Today I am joining …
This should not be a challenge for me. Since I like to be heard, I should easily extend that grace to others. But often it’s a matter of timing. I have trouble listening well when I am interrupted or in the middle of something. Thankfully, we can always count on our Father’s listening ear, any time or place. May we seek His grace to listen to others as we want to be listened to.
Sometimes it can be challenging to stop in the middle of an activity to lend an ear. May He help us all to grow in this and become better listeners.
In the past few years, I have practiced the discipline of putting down the book, turning my eyes away from the task, and focusing on the family member who is talking to me. I am just sad that I didn’t start doing this sooner…
Michele, it is so true. Some of these lessons I wish I had learned when I was younger. I’m just grateful I am learning.
Toddlers are so awesome, I agree. 🙂 We can learn so much from them. Listening is a skill that we always have room for improvement in. I definitely have to keep working at it.
Lisa, I am so glad you pointed out that we always have room for improvement. And I am so grateful God never tires of helping us to improve.
I couldn’t agree with you more when you say, “Technology is robbing us of our ability to listen and converse deeply with one another.” It really has. There is very little deep conversation because people are hiding behind screens to text instead of talk. Thank you for the quote at the end that reminds us of the other elements of listening; our eyes, smiles, and the silences between words. I dare say in order to be a good listener, we must care enough about the person we are talking to. Then and only then will we lean in to listen carefully.
Yvonne, hopefully as we all take notice of this, we will become better listeners and develop deeper, and more meaningful, conversations. You are so wise in pointing out that in order to be a good listener, we must care about the person we are talking to. May we not only become better listeners but also become more compassionate.
Joanne, I loved your example with Eliza. Isn’t it true that we ALL want to be seen and heard? Jesus dealt with people one on one, and He saw them and listened to them. It’s sad in today’s world, busyness and schedules usurp good old fashioned listening. If we truly engaged and heard others, our words would hold more power for helping others feel seen and heard!
Donna, may we never fail to recognize the importance of truly engaging with other. It is so important as it is the way we will also lift one another up, so we all faithfully run our race.
Amen! What a nice blessing in this lesson ma’am. Patience, often brings forth the fullness of God’s love. I loved your example of the little one ma’am. Thank you!
J.D., my grandchildren have taught me much!
I needed to hear this today, Joanne, “The reality is, she simply wants to be heard and seen.” Unfortunately, I didn’t hear someone out last night, and it led to a little mess that is being cleaned up today. Sigh. I appreciate your words of encouragement to listen and be compassionate as someone shares.
Lisa, you have pointed something out that we all need to remember – when we don’t hear someone out, we often create such a mess of things. Praying for you as you clean it up today.
Eliza seems so adorable. I love toddlers too. Especially my toddlers-grandchildren. The Lord is teaching me to be present in the present. Thank you for this great reminder.
She is, but then … all grandchildren are 🙂 God has been teaching me the very same lesson lately – be present in the present moment. So important for we will not have these moments again.
Hearing and listening. Two different things.
Agreed.
Ah, that admonition to be slow to speak! It’s a challenge sometimes, especially if you have something burning to say. I want to work really hard on listening better – especially to the little people in my life.
Jerralea, your comment made me sit and think. You are right – it is hard to hold our words when we have something to say. But I realized in your words, the important role of timing our words as well. Thank you for bringing to mind, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11, NKJV).
Excellent points. I have to be very intentional to listen myself. If not, I find myself trying to formulate my next point instead of really hearing what my companion is saying!
Isn’t that the truth! We move on so quickly without hearing the words of reply. I wonder how many times I have missed out on words I needed to hear.
I wonder if sometimes we don’t want to listen to those who challenge us, like the Samaritan Woman – is seems irritable and ready for an argument in the beginning – and we stop listening and stop trying to communicate because it seems confrontational – and we don’t want confrontation – sometimes because it’s so uncomfortable and, for example, I might not trust myself to come out sounding like I want to sound, with the effect I want to have. Yet, when we do listen – when it’s like that – that’s where God moves and change happens. BTW – I took my 3 year old grandson to lunch with me one day – LOL – he wanted to be a pa rt of every conversation! Listening is hard especially when you have things you think you want to say. I am a work in progress.
Maryleigh, if I learned anything from Eliza, this post, and each of the comments, it is this – I am a work in progress as well and my desire is to become better at listening.
Listening was my profession Joanne & yes as a western society we are losing the ability to actively listen to each other.
Which is greatly impacting mental well-being.
Blessings,
Jennifer
You have made such a wonderful point – listening is good for our health. I so appreciated you adding this!
Joanne, Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan woman is a wonderful example of the power of listening. He even knew what she was going to say before she said it, and He still listened well. I have a lot of room to improve in this area, that’s for sure. Also, I love hearing the lessons you learn from time spent with Eliza. 🙂
This –> “He even knew what she was going to say before she said it, and He still listened well.” Your one sentence made me pause, Lois. Do I tune out if I have heard it before? If Jesus could listen well, how much more should I?
Oh, how I loved the toddler years. When someone is speaking to me I make sure I give them my undivided attention, eye contact, actively listen to their words so that I can respond. Also if I’m in a friend or family setting I make sure I turn away from electronics, or if I’m reading something. I want to give others the same respect that I want. An active listening ear.
Visiting from #19&20
We all should be giving our full attention when in conversation. it truly does convey respect and value. I pray I do not ever lose my ability to converse with love and appreciation for others.
Thank you for sharing my post Joanna! Sorry for my late response! It is true that technology can distract us from really listening to others. Feeling validated and heard is so important for ourselves and others. Listening is a life long practice I believe! Thank you for reminding me to continue practicing and honouring others through listening.
You said it well, Lynn – may we continue practicing and honoring others through listening. It’s my joy and goal to share posts as even those words should be seen and heard.
There is so much truth in your words. We are a culture who has forgotten how to listen. I am guilty of this too at times. I love the analogy of toddlers and how they want to be seen. My 2 3/4 year old grandson displays that every time I am with him.
I’m guilty as well at times, perhaps more than I would want to be. I’m grateful for the lessons which are often right before my eyes. I’ve concluded that each of my granddaughters have delivered some of the greatest lessons 🙂