I have been thinking about perfectionism a bit these last few days. Most of us have a desire to do things well, or at least with excellence. Yet not any of us do all things with perfection.
Perfectionism stakes its claim on us by making us feel we are not enough. It makes sure we know we never will be either. The word, “perfectionism”, sounds like it should have a positive connotation but if we dig deeper, we find the hidden ugliness it truly masks:
- Perfectionism has nothing to do with doing the best you can. It actually keeps us from doing our best. In order to avoid failure, we don’t do at all.
- Perfectionism does not help us to improve ourselves either. Perfectionism does not look to help improve but rather is looking at what others will be thinking about us.
Perfectionism >>> “a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.” (dictionary.com)
Did you notice it is a “personal” standard? We do it to ourselves. But it does not stay isolated to ourselves as Brene Brown explains:
Perfectionism never happens in a vacuum. It touches everyone around us. We pass it down to our children, we infect our workplace with impossible expectations, and it’s suffocating for our friends and families. Thankfully compassion also spreads quickly. When we’re kind to ourselves, we create a reservoir of compassion that we can extend to others. Our children learn how to be self-compassionate by watching us, and the people around us feel free to be authentic and connected.
(The Gifts of Imperfection, page 61)
We must come to the place where we realize we will never be perfect. We all are flawed. All in need of grace. Paul explains it this way:
“We have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” (2 Corinthians 4:7, NLT)
We’re all fragile. We’re all cracked. And that’s OK for it is the very means by which His Light shines through our lives.
Those cracks show the world that in spite of our imperfections, He loves us.
Those cracks remind us that although we ourselves are imperfect,
the Perfect One resides inside of us.
Today I am joining … Thought Provoking Thursday and Woman 2 Woman and Everyday Jesus .
I love II Corinthians 4 — especially because of the cracks! Thanks be to God that He supports us in our fragility and shines through us. Always enjoy reading your words.
Those very cracks remind us that He has chosen to reside in us knowing our fragility. It is amazing, Michele.
Yes. This: “In order to avoid failure, we don’t do at all.” I’ve found that to be true with me. FlyLady actually helped me a lot–at least do a little. Something is better than nothing. 🙂 (And I so love Brene Brown’s insights.)
May we do the little we can with all our might as then it will matter greatly. Yes, Brene Brown has wonderful insights!
We just started a new series on this topic at church. Last week the pastor reminded us that there was only ever one perfect Christian, and He died so we don’t have to be. I’ve been battling the perfection bug my whole life. Part of it is personality, but the nagging part Im learning to silence with grace. Thanks for putting words to this today!
I love how you put it, Tiffany – “silence with grace”. May His grace silence the nag of perfectionism as we rest in the perfect One. Beautiful!
I have lived with myself for 67 years (: ) ) and most of those years I have wanted to do EVERYTHING JUST RIGHT, just so. There is no perfection through us because we are human. Only in Christ, one day…when we meet Him, will there be perfect. Yet, why…why do I keep trying to be and do perfect? Good read for me this day! Thanks, Joanne. I, too, and fragile and cracked. I must remember that. : )
Linda, we may struggle but we grow in the midst of that very struggle with perfectionism. I love how Tiffany put it in her comment above…”we silence it with grace.” May we come to rest in the perfect One. Blessings to you!
The Perfect One resides inside each of us…thank God! I am not perfect but I keep striving to be more like Jesus. I’m just a cracked pot! ♥
Nannette, the beauty is – we’re ALL cracked pots 🙂 Much love to you today! XO
I think it was perfectionism that kept me from following Jesus for so long– I was afraid that I wasn’t going to do it “right” so my teenagery-early-20s self opted totally out.
But if I only knew then what I know now!! 🙂 Glad we are all a little bit cracked out…
Sharita, I am just grateful for His patience with me & that I’m learning a little bit each day. Have a blessed Sunday!