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For about a week now, I have been pondering this question: How much do I love life? My life.

I mean like I have been mulling this over & over. I am not sure what precipitated all this. I just know that this is where I found myself. For days.

I found that I really do like my life. A lot. Perhaps more than I realized. Perhaps more than I should. This is the verse that started it all:

“For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth—the one who accuses them before our God day and night. And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.” (Revelation 12:11 NLT).
There it is. The one line that began it all – “And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.”
There have been times in my life where life was so hard, so painful & I had to choose HOW I would move forward. And I have watched others close to me go through times like that as well. It is at those times that I have come to realize that there is something very powerful about the person who loses much in life or has hard struggles & still CHOOSES to worship God. You know what I mean. Like Job who loses it all & responds with tearing his robe, shaving his head, falling to the ground in worship & saying, “The Lord gave & the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21 NIV84). That is an amazing response.
That same Scripture, cited above from Revelation, says it this way in The Message:
“They defeated him through the blood of the Lamb and the bold word of their witness. They weren’t in love with themselves; they were willing to die for Christ.
Did you catch it? They weren’t in love with themselves. There we have it, our problem – narcissism. “Narcissism”, as defined by dictionary.com is the “inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; self-centeredness.” We just don’t want to admit that we do love our lives – just the way they are. With all our stuff. With our positions. With the ease. And we do not want to give any of it up. We do love life – the here & now – perhaps so much that we don’t think of the after. But those that are being mentioned in Revelation did not think of the now. They thought only of the after. They fought their struggles here through the blood of the One they belonged to & by their testimony, which they gave boldly. Nothing else mattered.
And here is the thing….in living that way, they gained more & got it all anyway. They gained Him, who is infinitely of more worth. May we love life but may we come to love Him more.